Birds of a feather

I recently went to lunch with a group of my sorority sisters. On the drive to the restaurant, I was hot and, by the time I arrived, was a little irritated because of the heat. But as soon as my sorors began arriving, all of my frustration suddenly left.

I sat in close proximity to women of all ages, some old enough to be my mother and some young enough to be my sister. They come from diverse socioeconomic statuses, were born in various states, have attained a variety of educational levels and have made careers for themselves in various professions. Some are parents, and others are grandparents. Many of us live in different cities, and some of us had never met. Still, we all have something in common—we are college-educated women bonded through our love for Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated.

In case you are wondering, Alpha Kappa Alpha is the first college sorority in the United States to be established by African-American women. It was founded on Jan. 15, 1908, by nine students at Howard University. Seven other women were soon added and are grouped with the original nine as the revered 16 founders of the sorority. The mission of the sisterhood is to “cultivate and encourage high scholastic and ethical standards, to promote unity and friendship among college women, to study and help alleviate problems concerning girls and women in order to improve their social stature, to maintain a progressive interest in college life, and to be of service to all mankind.” I was initiated into the sorority in the spring of 2006, alongside two other women. Now, back to my lunch.

Sitting at my table with approximately 20 others, I was awed by the women who surrounded me. Three have PhDs and two, not including me, are currently enrolled in PhD programs. One is the great-granddaughter of Thurgood Marshall, the late U.S. Supreme Court Justice. One is a relative of the first black mayor of New York City. Another is a charter member of the Alpha Kappa Alpha chapter at MIT. Other attendees included educators, social workers and lawyers. Just sitting with them inspired me. And to think I know and have a relationship with the vast majority of the women at my table is absolutely amazing! These aren’t women I barely know; they are women I meet with monthly to plan and prepare for community service programs and sorority events.

Although I often see my sorors at business meetings, we didn’t talk business; we simply enjoyed each other’s company. We talked about everything from our iPhones to my experience as a labor and delivery nurse to marriage and children. I can only hope they enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed theirs. I was encouraged by those who have gone through, or are currently in, PhD programs. They gave me hope that I could make it, too. We cherished each other as sisters, although only two of the attendees are biological sisters. (My biological sister is my sorority sister as well.) We were reminded that a sister is more than a female sibling.

I came to the lunch feeling hot and bothered, but I left energized and refreshed. You see, it’s important to be surrounded by well-educated, well-mannered, high-achieving friends. We gain inspiration and support from our friends. They are the ones who egg us on when we feel like giving up. They are the ones who celebrate our accomplishments and help us bounce back from our setbacks.

Having friends you can hang out with is fine, but you have to have more than simply hanging buddies in your circle of influence. I’ve learned that the characteristics of our friends are typically the characteristics we display. They say, “Birds of a feather flock together.” If this is a fact, I want to be flying alongside my sorors.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.