Work hard, play harder

Nurses work very hard. We do a great job of caring for others, but tend to cut corners when it comes to caring for ourselves. We work long hours, in sometimes not-so-great conditions, and we rarely take the time needed to rejuvenate. We do our best to please our doctors, our patients and upper management. But why don’t we take time to please ourselves? We have to learn that it’s OK to take out “me time,” and we have to make a conscious effort to protect that time. If we are no good to ourselves, how can we possibly be any good to others?

I have spent the vast majority of my nursing career caring for the needs of others while putting myself and my needs on the back burner. Last year, when I finished my master’s degree, I promised myself I would celebrate this accomplishment. I realized how long I worked toward the degree and how much time and energy I sacrificed to get through the program. I worked full time while in my MSN program, and I often picked up extra shifts to help the unit. I didn’t take out as much time as I should have for myself during the 2 1/2 years it took to finish the program. But once I walked across the graduation stage, I planned to party hard!

About two weeks after graduation, I went on a short vacation to Cabo San Lucas with my friends. We had a wonderful time hanging on the beach, eating at various restaurants, riding jet skis and parasailing.

Tiffany and friends

Sometimes, you need a break!

About six weeks after our trip to Mexico, my friends and I traveled to Jamaica. This was the first time I had ever flown over the Atlantic Ocean. I had never been on an island before (unless you count Alameda, a small island in Northern California). It was exciting and refreshing. It was nice to stay at an all-inclusive resort for the first time. It felt good to be away from the stresses of work life. I love what I do, and I am definitely living my dream of working in women’s health, but sometimes you need a break. Jamaica was just the break I needed.

After having such an amazing time in Cabo and Jamaica last year, I planned a cruise to the Western Caribbean for 2011. The trip was planned long before I sent my application to UCLA, but once I was notified that I had been accepted into the PhD program, the trip became my official “last hoorah” before going back to school. I had a blast! My friends and I were able to leave the care of our home and work lives on the dock in Miami as we set sail to four beautiful foreign countries.

At Altun Ha in Belize

As nurses, we must value and appreciate any time we have to ourselves. We spend hours upon hours each week pouring out ourselves into others. We have to take the time to fill ourselves back up. We must learn to say no, when the requests will take away from our time. Yes, we love our jobs, we love our patients, and we desire to lend a helping hand to our co-workers, but if we don’t ensure we are taken care of, who else will?

So, use your vacation time to take vacations and your life-balance time to balance your life. We need a healthy balance between work and home life. We need to learn that it’s OK to take pride in time spent away from work. I’ll be the first to admit that it takes a bit of effort to take time away from caring for others to care for your self. But, I have finally learned to stop revolving my life around work and start revolving work around my life. I work hard, and I am making a commitment to play even harder.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

What’s the deal with staff nurses disliking travel nurses?

I remember the first time I met Brandy and Courtney. I’d walked into the nurses’ station to clock out after my night shift, and they were coming in for their first day of orientation. They were young and small in stature, reminding me a lot of myself. The first thing I noticed about Courtney was the Delta Sigma Theta bag she was carrying. I am a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha, and if you know anything about historically black Greek-letter organizations—see my blog post “Birds of a feather”—you are well aware of the rivalry between Deltas and AKAs. (Don’t worry. It’s all in fun. One of my very best friends and the mother of my goddaughter is a Delta, so you know we don’t hate each other.)

I snarled at the bag and asked the girls who they were. That’s when I found out they were the new travelers. There are many idiosyncrasies in nursing, one of which is a sort of disdain by staff nurses for travel nurses. As a new nurse, you quickly learn to adapt to the culture of the nursing unit. On most units, travel nurses are seen as one of “them,” not one of “us.” They are typically given the patient assignments nobody wants, and they are made to work harder than everyone else.

I wasn’t a new nurse when I met Brandy and Courtney, so I’d had the chance to work with plenty of travelers. I tended to make friends with young travel nurses, especially young black travel nurses. I was used to being the youngest nurse on the unit or one of the only black nurses on the unit, so it was always nice to come across someone who looked like me. I didn’t get to know much about Brandy and Courtney the first day we met, but I was open to making new friends.

After our initial encounter, I didn’t see the new travelers again for about two weeks. The first night I worked with Brandy and Courtney was on my 26th birthday. I had just flown in from Miami that afternoon, and I had requested to have the first four hours of the shift off. I came in at 11 p.m. to work my remaining eight hours and was excited because it was, technically, still my birthday. I walked around taking pictures with all of my co-workers. I even asked Brandy and Courtney to take a picture with me, although I didn’t really know them.

Tiffany (center) with friends Brandy and Courtney.

I got to know a lot about Brandy and Courtney that night. Originally from Louisiana, they had attended Southern University together and had been nurses for one year. I was one year older, and we instantly clicked.

The three of us hung out a lot that summer. Whenever we could all manage to get the night off, we tried to do something together. We went to the comedy club, Dave & Buster’s (an adult arcade), my aunt’s neighborhood block party for the 4th of July, P.F. Chang’s for dinner, Benihana’s for Courtney’s birthday, the Santa Monica Pier and Magic Mountain.

When Brandy and Courtney’s contract was over, they went back to Louisiana, but we remained in contact. We met up the next year to attend President Obama’s historic presidential inauguration. (We thought it was a good idea to do sightseeing late in the afternoon and nearly froze to death.) And we vacationed together in Las Vegas.

I had the chance to see Courtney when she came to Los Angeles to visit last year. I haven’t seen Brandy since the summer of 2009. We still communicate via Facebook and text messages, and we plan to go to Europe together next year to celebrate my 30th birthday.

Having this wonderful experience with two complete strangers made me wonder, “What’s the deal with staff nurses disliking travel nurses?” I had no idea how much fun Courtney and Brandy were, and I would have never known had I not broken the unit rule and gotten to know them. How many friendships do we miss by disregarding the new travel nurse on the unit? How many great conversations or awesome experiences do we forfeit? As nurse leaders, we have to be the ones to model behavior that shows it’s OK to befriend travelers.

We have a wealth of information to learn from experienced and even novice travelers. They have the inside scoop! They have the unique experience of changing job locations multiple times per year. They know which policies work and which don’t. They are virtual wells of knowledge and we should not only get to know them for who they are, but also pick their brains so as to improve systems on our own units.

I’m so grateful I didn’t fall into the trap of treating travelers like outsiders. Had I taken on that attitude, I would have missed the chance to become friends with two really great nurses. I’m grateful to Brandy and Courtney for giving me a summer I will never forget and friendships that will last a lifetime.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.