Making the leap from theory to practice

As a nursing student, I spent a lot of time learning what nursing practice should look like. Because I was enrolled in a bachelor’s program, I spent less time in the clinical setting than my diploma-school or associate-program counterparts. We spent a lot of time talking about theoretical patients and how they should be cared for. When it came time to take that theoretical knowledge and apply it to real-life patients, I felt slightly overwhelmed.

The same was true for my master’s program. I spent an entire year studying the ins and outs of nursing education. I wrote papers, gave presentations, and took exams. Still, moving from my theoretical understanding of the role of a nurse educator to actually functioning as a preceptor was a giant leap.

Here again

These days, I find myself at this juncture once more. I am moving from life as a PhD student who sits in classes and writes papers to that of a PhD candidate who conducts research and writes data-based manuscripts. This shift feels all too familiar and, just as before, slightly uncomfortable.

Photo credit: George Doyle/Valueline/Thinkstock

The day I passed my oral qualifying exam, I couldn’t have been happier. Once my exam paperwork was filed with UCLA’s Graduate Division, I officially became a PhD candidate, and I could move from working on my dissertation study in theory to working on my actual dissertation study.

When I submitted my application to the Institutional Review Board (IRB) to ensure adherence to research-related governmental and institutional regulations, I expected to go back and forth with them for several months before receiving final study approval. This is what everyone told me to expect, and, as someone new to research, I assumed the process would go the way everyone told me it would. Imagine my surprise when my IRB application was approved—pending revisions—just two weeks after it was submitted. I made the requested revisions during the holiday break and didn’t expect to hear back from the IRB for at least a few weeks. Again, imagine my surprise when, less than a week later, my study was approved. Exactly one month from the day I submitted my first-ever IRB application, I had permission to begin my study.

Attacked by fear

I was excited, but the excitement was soon overcome by anxiety. Were the people on the IRB really giving me full permission to conduct my own study? Had they made a mistake? Didn’t they know I had never done this before? Did I honestly have the authority to recruit participants, collect and analyze data, and write up my findings—carte blanche? I felt the same way I did when I walked into a patient’s room for the first time—scared to death!

I couldn’t believe I was so fearful of conducting a study I had been planning for more than three years. This was the moment I had been waiting for, the moment my study would move from plans in my head—and the first four chapters of my dissertation—to a real-life research study. Why was I so afraid? What, exactly, was I afraid of?

As a nursing student, I was always afraid I would hurt someone. I never wanted to do anything that could potentially harm a patient. As a nurse educator student, I was afraid my students would have a less-than-stellar educational experience. As a PhD candidate, the fear is similar, yet not quite the same. My research does not require me to use any of my bedside nursing skills, so I have no fear of physically harming someone. There isn’t even a concern about subjecting someone to mental anguish or causing a cascade of emotional unraveling. To be frank, I have no idea what caused this sudden onset of research anxiety. What I do know is that I have been at this theory-and-practice crossroad several times before, and, each time, I made it through unscathed.

Regaining perspective

Never have I been asked to move from theory to practice without having a plethora of assistance at my disposal. This time is no different. I am not being thrown to the wolves with no hope of survival. I have an amazing team cheering me on. I constructed my dissertation committee purposefully. The committee chair and each of the other members have a unique set of research skills and expertise from which I can glean. There are also tons of other resources on campus, including statistics consulting, that I can use, should I get stuck at any phase of my study.

I’ve worked on the details of this study for a long time. It may not go according to plan. I may have to change some of my recruitment methods, or I may discover findings that were not anticipated. So what? It’s actually happening! I’m on the brink of conducting my very first research study (outside of small studies conducted for class assignments). I’m the one in charge, and I have an amazing team behind me. My ideas are coming to fruition. They have moved from my mind to my dissertation proposal, and now they are taking the final leap into reality. How exciting!

As nurses, we each experience times when we are afraid to take the next step. Sometimes, those fears are caused by external factors. But, many times, we scare ourselves. When thoughts arise telling you why you can’t make progress in your nursing education or in the nursing profession, combat them with reasons why you can and will. Surround yourself with people who remind you that the leap from theory to practice isn’t as frightening as you think—and with those who won’t let you fall if the leap turns out to be larger than expected.

Above all else, remember, you were made for this! Trust the training you’ve received. Trust yourself to put into practice everything you know. Trust yourself to flourish in your new role. Maintain faith that you are headed in the right direction. And, keep walking, keep advancing, keep progressing—in spite of your fears.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Visiting the library

I recently visited a couple of my school’s libraries—UCLA’s Charles E. Young Research Library and Louise M. Darling Biomedical Library—to check out a few books. In doing so, I realized how long it had been since I last searched through library stacks for a book. Awestruck by the significance of the occasion, I took a picture of book stacks and posted it to my Instagram account.

There was a time when going to the library was normal. As an elementary-school student, I learned all about the Dewey Decimal System and how to use the card catalog to search for books. My class frequented the library to check out and return books. In high school, I studied in the library of California State University, Long Beach. I’d sit there for hours, having given my mother instructions to pick me up in the afternoon. Oddly enough, as a college student, I never studied in the library—only as a high school student. Go figure. However, during the summer months between my freshman and sophomore years in college, I went to the library almost weekly to check out books.

I took a picture of book stacks and posted it to my Instagram account.

I read a lot that summer. Reading for pleasure gave me respite from assigned readings for my summer anatomy class. During my sophomore and junior years of college, I worked in a campus satellite library—the Multicultural Resource Center. Filling my childhood and early adult years are great memories of school and public libraries. The Internet changed all that.

I can count on two hands the number of times I checked out a library book as an undergraduate or graduate student. In fact, before my PhD program, the last time I remember going to a library was during my junior year, and that was to visit friends who worked there. During my MSN program, I never once stepped foot in a library. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you where the library is at California State University, Dominguez Hills—or if one exists at all.

The few times I have visited UCLA’s Biomedical Library, I have been reminded of the joys of going to the library—the smell of books; the short-lived anxiety of searching for a single literary work among thousands of collections; the thought of who may have read this book last. What were they studying? Where did they read it? What did they think of it?

Going to the library was once a staple of the educational experience. Today, it is quite possible to earn a college degree without ever reading a book. As use of technology continues to increase, part of me is beginning to miss the good old days—the days when I either had to visit the library or have no references to cite for a paper (two or three libraries if a needed book was checked out); the days when I wrote papers by hand and went to the computer lab to type them up; the days when the Internet was but a mystery and information wasn’t handed to me on a silver spoon. Those were the days!

Today, I wonder if students are actually getting a college education or simply earning a degree. Getting an education entails so much more than simply adhering to guidelines spelled out in a syllabus and receiving a grade. For me, getting a college education meant sitting in a lecture hall full of people I didn’t know and becoming friends with some of them as a result of our shared experience. It meant engaging in meaningful discussions in a small class section, then hanging around after class to continue the discussion with the professor and a few other students. It meant searching the stacks in the library, hoping—and praying—to find the book I needed. For me, that was what getting an education was about.

Have we lost the magic of the college experience? Are technological advancements removing the very things that made us feel like students? Is technology becoming more of an educational hindrance than a help? I don’t know the answers to any of these questions but, as someone who loves everything about higher education, the thought that I am even posing these questions makes me a little sad.

I want future generations to know the joy of visiting the library—not simply downloading books and articles from Google Books and online research databases. I’m not saying we should return to the days of typewriters and Wite-Out—yes, I also remember those days—but there is a special feeling associated with frequenting a university library. I can only hope today’s educators are encouraging students to experience that feeling.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Broaden your horizons!

Before attending graduate school the first time, I contemplated where I should obtain my master’s degree. My original plan was to obtain my MSN at San Jose State University (SJSU), the same school where I obtained my BSN. It made sense for several reasons: The school was local; I was already familiar with the campus climate and politics; and, most importantly, I had established a rapport with the nursing faculty.

My plans took a back seat, however, to life’s twists and turns. As fate would have it, I ended up leaving the Bay Area of Northern California and coming back to Los Angeles, in Southern California, prior to submitting any applications, and I ended up enrolling in a school—California State University, Dominguez Hills (CSUDH)—that wasn’t originally on my radar. My choice to attend CSU Dominguez Hills was one of convenience. I quickly learned, however, that fate was doing its job, and what I thought was a choice of pure convenience taught me the value of broadening my horizons.

What I thought was a choice of pure convenience taught me the value of
broadening my horizons.

Having attended San Jose for my BSN and Dominguez Hills for my MSN, I was certain I would attend yet another school for my PhD, and I did—the University of California, Los Angeles, better known as UCLA. After being accepted by UCLA, I thought my educational journey had reached its last stop. Boy, was I wrong! As I began my second year of doctoral studies, postdoc seemed to be the new buzzword. Almost everyone, it seemed to me, was either suggesting I plan to commit to a postdoctoral program or asking what schools I had in mind for my postdoc. Continuing on as a postdoctoral fellow was the last thing on my mind until I began to understand the benefit of such a program. Faced with having to make a decision about where to apply for a postdoc, I chose, once again, to look at programs associated with institutions not on my list of alma maters.

Now that I have attended three universities in pursuit of three degrees, I encourage everyone I can to attend a different school for each degree. My rationale is simple: You want to make your network as wide as possible and learn from as many different scholars as you can. Each school has its own philosophy on teaching, learning, and education. I don’t think it’s beneficial, therefore, to become too attached to any one institution, because you inadvertently miss out on the opportunity to partake in other educational experiences. I’ll use myself as an example of someone I regard as having a well-rounded education.

I attended SJSU for undergrad and had the opportunity to experience a teaching-intensive university. While some of my professors may have participated in research, it was not their main focus. I was in a teaching institution, and my instructors were dedicated educators and clinicians.

When I enrolled at CSUDH, I knew my experience would be different because, although the school is another California State University and a teaching-intensive institution, the master’s program was completely online. The experiences associated with earning my BSN and MSN degrees were as different as night and day.

Now, as a student at UCLA, a Tier One research university, my experience is vastly different from the experiences I had at the teaching universities. Research is the top priority at UCLA; that is no secret. Opportunities to participate in research training, work on grants, write publications, and work as a teacher’s assistant are unparalleled. Had I stayed at SJSU for my MSN and enrolled in its DNP program, I would not have had the amazing experience of obtaining an online degree or studying at a world-renowned research university.

Aside from the educational experiences one has as a student, there are also the connections you make with classmates and faculty members. If you attend the same school for your undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral degrees, you may have different classmates (unless everyone else has the same mindset as you and doesn’t change schools), but you will probably have the same faculty members, and chances are their teaching philosophies won’t change. Neither will their networks.

As a student, you want to be exposed not only to colleagues and faculty members within your university, but also those with no connection to your university. One way to increase this exposure and your potential networking opportunities is to attend professional conferences, but another way to create strong networks with many nurses is to develop relationships with faculty members from various schools.

As you branch out and expand your network, your potential connections grow exponentially. It’s like having a Twitter following. The more people you follow, the more information you’re bound to come across. It has nothing to do with the people you are following, per se. It’s more about their following and with whom you become connected while using them as an intermediary. No one in the Twitter-verse would follow the same 30 people and refuse to expand their network because of the convenience of following just 30 people. Use this same sort of thinking when considering schools for obtaining your next degree. You want to be connected to as many people as possible.

While earning all of my degrees at the same school may have been less expensive, less time-consuming, and much less of a headache, I cannot adequately convey the benefits that learning from three sets of faculty, being exposed to three different institutional ways of thinking, and being connected with new mentors from three universities has provided. Some of the most rewarding professional relationships I have are with nurses with whom I struck up a conversation after introducing myself as a student of Professor X or a past TA for Professor Y. It’s not always easy to be the new student at a large (or small) university, but think of all of the potential connections there are to be made. Think of all of the new people you will meet and the places you will potentially go!

The point of networking is to create a proverbial net that, when cast, covers a vast amount of space. Don’t hinder your opportunity to network by staying within the same four walls for all your days as a student.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International (STTI).

5 tips for choosing a doctoral program

I seem to have adopted a pattern of making life-changing decisions based on emotion. Fact checking and research did not factor into my choice of an undergraduate program (see my post “Do you know the way to San Jose?”), nor did they affect my selection of an MSN program. (The latter decision was made purely for the sake of convenience. I was working full time nights, and I didn’t want a traditional program that would require me to attend class. An added bonus was the program’s inexpensive cost. I knew I wouldn’t have to take out a loan to pay for my degree.) The way I went about selecting my PhD program (see previous post) was slightly unconventional and, although I’m delighted with my decision, I don’t recommend my decision-making process as a method for everyone to follow.

In hindsight, however, I unconsciously considered some key factors in making my decision to apply to UCLA. And now that I am in my second year of the program, my knowledge about choosing a graduate program is based on both wisdom and experience. Here are five tips for those thinking about applying to graduate school.

Tip #1: Follow the dollar signs.

Funding for graduate students is available in abundance. Whether it’s scholarships, traineeships, or fellowships, the money is there, and it’s money you don’t have to pay back! If you don’t have the money to pay for your education outright, and you don’t want to take out loans, look at the programs that offer the greatest funding.

Sometimes funding comes in the form of tuition reimbursement for students who work as teachers’ assistants or as research assistants. Working as a TA or RA is a great way to pay for your education, and it’s a win-win situation. You gain valuable experience as an instructor or novice researcher, and the school gets an instructor or researcher at lower cost. Be careful to read and understand all of the small print associated with receiving financial aid. Sometimes, the institution requires recipients of such aid to work in a certain area or commit to a certain number of years of teaching or research following graduation. If you are considering applying for funding, see my two-part post “Scholarship alert!!! 10 tips for success in applying for scholarships.”

Tip #2: Make sure your research interest fits the school.

Once you become a graduate student, your research will become your life. Before applying to a specific school, be sure someone on the faculty is an expert in your research area. Most nursing school websites have pages that list faculty members’ current and past research areas. In fact, some schools have a faculty research page that lists all of the faculty’s research, and a significant number of schools also list recent faculty-member publications and conference presentations. Identifying the research interest, publications, and presentations of various faculty members will help you determine whether or not the school fits your research needs.

It’s also important to look at the type of research being done in the school. If you are interested in qualitative research, but the school is full of mostly quantitative researchers, it may not be a good fit for you. Likewise, if you are interested in community-based participatory research, and no one on the school’s faculty is engaged in this type of research, you may be better off looking elsewhere.

In addition to reviewing school of nursing websites, note the authors of journal articles in your area of interest. I’ve found that nursing is a small world, which becomes even smaller when you begin to seek out experts in specific research areas. When reading journal articles, you will begin to see the same names over and over again. Look up the school where those researchers work. If the researcher is a “big name” expert, he or she has probably been at that school for quite some time.

Tip #3: Assess resources available at the school.

Don’t underestimate this criterion for choosing a school. One thing I love about UCLA is its Louise M. Darling Biomedical Library. (Not only are all of the journals, books and other reference materials of importance to nursing students located there, but we still have access to eight other libraries on campus. (Yes, UCLA has nine libraries on campus.) It also has a graduate reading room (secured so only those with a graduate ID from one of the biomedical schools are allowed entrance), graduate student gym—no undergrads allowed, I love it!— and a graduate-student writing center that includes, as one of its benefits, 250 free pages per quarter. There are plenty of other campus resources I love, but this is not about me.

Questions you may want to ask yourself when selecting a graduate school include: What types of databases does the school subscribe to? Can I access other libraries at nearby schools? Does the library participate in interlibrary loans? Is there a library or librarian dedicated to servicing your school or major? Do undergraduates and graduates use the same library? Are resources available to assist graduates with writing? What types of counseling services are available? Is graduate housing provided? Is graduate housing separate from undergraduate housing? I’m sure there are other resources of specific importance to you. Determine what your nonnegotiables are, and then compare them to resources available at the graduate school or schools you are considering.

Tip #4: Check the rankings.

I wasn’t one to care much about national rankings at the undergraduate or master’s level, but a school’s rank is definitely important at the doctoral level. My take on this is simple: The only school that really matters when it comes to rankings is the one from which you receive your highest degree. Being able to say that I am a student at UCLA holds a lot of clout. The same should be true for your school of choice. After all, why pay a bunch of money or spend a significant amount of time working as a TA or RA in exchange for tuition reimbursement only to graduate from a program that is not well recognized or, worse, a program that is not highly respected?

U.S. News and World Report ranks graduate programs in nursing. (They rank UCLA at No. 21 but, of course, it’s No. 1 in my eyes.) If you are looking to be trained as a researcher, you should also pay attention to where the school ranks when it comes to research funding. The National Institutes of Health is a major funder of schools of nursing, and up-to-date funding information can be retrieved from their Awards by Location and Organization database. (Click on the various criteria provided to look at information from various perspectives—organization, location, etc.) Other important decision factors to consider, including accreditation, are available from the National League for Nursing and the American Association of Colleges of Nursing.

Tip #5: Talk to current students in the program.

This is probably the most important factor to consider. You don’t want to enroll in a program only to later find yourself saying in frustration, “If I knew then what I know now!” Currently enrolled students are your best resources when it comes to getting the unadulterated truth about a program. They understand and have been indoctrinated into the “<insert program name here> way.” They know the politics associated with getting into and, more importantly, getting out of the program. They can give you inside information on teaching philosophies of professors and their methods of grading. They can tell you if your research interest is a good fit for the program you are considering or if you would be better off applying to another school. They can give you the scoop on being a TA or RA, who do you want to work for as a TA or RA, and what the expected workload is if you become a TA or RA. They will also tell you whether you should work or not during any given term and if it’s a good idea to take courses outside of the school of nursing during another term. Students currently enrolled in the program are your allies. Use them wisely.

When choosing a graduate program, you have to do what’s best for you. I have provided five major tips for making that decision, but they are based on what I thought was best for me. If I were married or had children or had to go to school out of state, my preferences would change accordingly. Your decision to go to graduate school is a personal matter and, ultimately, the school you select should be based on no one’s opinion but your own. No matter the reasons you use to choose your graduate school, congratulations on making the choice to further your education!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

How I ended up at UCLA

I’m often asked how I chose UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles) as the school I would attend to obtain my PhD. To be honest, I don’t feel as though I chose it, but that it chose me.

Before I was halfway through my MSN program, I began looking at nursing PhD programs. I also considered EdD programs, because my MSN is in nursing education, and I have a passion for teaching. Enrolled at the time in an online program, I was not keen on pursuing another online program, but I knew this meant I would have to move. I looked around the UCLA School of Nursing website, but did not see how the PhD program would be a good fit for me, because my research interest was nursing education and the PhD program at UCLA does not focus heavily on research related to that interest. In fact, until a chance meeting with the nursing school’s director of recruitment, outreach and admissions, my mind was made up that UCLA was not the place for me.

During a break at the 2010 Leadership Summit in Honolulu, Hawaii, USA, sponsored by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International, I approached UCLA School of Nursing’s exhibit table. To be honest, I was alone and, because the woman behind the table was also alone, thought I’d stir up a little conversation. I told Rhonda Flenoy-Younger—director of recruitment—that I had looked at UCLA, but didn’t think the program was for me.

She encouraged me to look at the information on a flash drive she handed me, and she took down my email address. She also introduced me to the dean of the School of Nursing. In speaking with him about my research interest, he encouraged me to apply to UCLA but not with the same research interest. When I returned home, I began receiving emails from Flenoy-Younger, inviting me to meetings of the Pan-African Nursing Students and Alumni Association (PANSAA) at UCLA. I ignored the first two meeting invitations, but responded to the third.

At the PANSAA meeting, I immediately felt a level of comfort among the students that I hadn’t felt at my undergraduate school or in the online MSN program from which I had recently graduated. Very interesting to me was that there were alumni in attendance, some who had graduated in the 1970s and ‘80s. Even the dean was there. I left that meeting feeling that, maybe, UCLA had something to offer after all. 

The next day, after attending a PhD information session presented by the UCLA School of Nursing (UCLA SON), I was sold! The support I felt from the faculty, their obvious love of research and UCLA, the personal stories of those on the student panel, and the commitment of the School of Nursing to provide tuition for all graduate teachers’ assistants was all I needed to make my decision. I left the session with my mind made up—I would apply to UCLA and would continue to apply until I was accepted.

A few days later, while attending the 2010 Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses (AWHONN) convention in Las Vegas, Nevada, I met a nurse educator-researcher who encouraged me to contact a faculty member at UCLA SON who was her personal friend. After contacting the professor, I set up a meeting with her.

First, though, I met with another faculty member, who encouraged me to choose a research interest about which I was truly passionate, not one that simply coincided with my MSN degree. At that point, my interest changed from nursing education to teen-pregnancy prevention. A week or two later, I met the friend of the nurse I had met at the AWHONN conference. Unbeknownst to me, the area of nursing about which I was now most passionate was the research area of this faculty member. I was sitting face-to-face with a world-renowned expert in teen pregnancy, and I had no idea! The encouragement I received from these two faculty members only strengthened my resolve to obtain my PhD from the UCLA School of Nursing.

Watch for my next post on choosing a doctoral program.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

10 things I learned in my first quarter as a PhD student

I am celebrating the completion of my first quarter as a PhD student! Looking back on the past 10 weeks, I can honestly say I learned a lot. As I think of all I had to learn to get to the end of the quarter, I am tempted to make statements such as, “If I knew then what I know now” or “Hindsight is 20/20.” To help others who are beginning or continuing their own academic journeys, I’ve compiled a list of 10 things I learned in those 10 weeks.

The admissions department did not make a mistake. I’ll be the first to admit that the imposter syndrome is real. It is not uncommon for new students to feel like imposters during the first few weeks on campus. We tend to believe someone “slipped up” and placed our application in the admission pile. This is not true! We have every intellectual capability that our classmates have and our admission to the school was not a mistake. Don’t allow yourself to feel like you don’t belong, because you do.

Quarters are not equal to semesters. Attending UCLA brought with it a huge change for me—the quarter system. Sitting in classes for a 16-week semester is much different than the 10-week quarter I quickly became acquainted with at UCLA. Classes on the quarter system don’t have the couple-week lag time I was accustomed to at the beginning of a term. We literally hit the ground running. By the time I felt I was finally in the groove for the quarter, it was over. Just like that, it was time for winter break. If you are going to a school that uses the quarter system and have never experienced these fast-moving terms, don’t allow yourself to relax. You must always maintain a sense of urgency. The quarter will be over before you know it.

Eureka moments are fleeting. As a doctoral student, you may come into the program thinking you know exactly what you want to study. Throw those thoughts out the window. You will begin to think in a way you have probably never been asked to think before. You will be educated in the philosophical and theoretical foundations of nursing research. You will be asked to defend your decision to select one philosophy over another. And, through it all, you may have several epiphanies that change the direction of your research. Don’t worry, no one really expects you to have a good idea of what you plan to study until the end of your first year in the program.

Take reading material everywhere you go. There is a lot of reading required of doctoral students, a lot! Any time you have a little downtime is an appropriate time to read. And truthfully, downtime can be found anywhere. If you are a passenger in a car, waiting for a medical appointment or getting your car’s oil changed, you have the opportunity to read. Taking one or two articles with you is not a bad idea. You never know when you’ll have 15 or 20 minutes to read. And don’t think you have to read the entire article or chapter to accomplish something. Every word you read is one more word than what you had already read.

Choose the best time to read or write. I found that I was more likely to concentrate on my readings during the afternoon and writing came easier in the morning and late at night. My best writing was accomplished between 6 a.m. and noon, or after dark. I found that I fall asleep if I try to read too early in the morning or too late at night, unless the material is exciting and intriguing. My methods may not work for you, but I encourage you to experiment a little to discover what time of day is best.

Take time for yourself. Although you may be a full-time student like me, it is important to take time away from school. I have two recommendations for managing time for schoolwork and “me time”: 1) Choose one day of the week during which you will not do any schoolwork, or 2) do schoolwork daily, but only between certain hours. Assuming you aren’t otherwise employed, if you devote every weekday between 8 a.m. and 2 p.m. to school, you can get a lot done and still have afternoons and evenings to yourself. Whatever you decide, don’t neglect personal time to spend all of your time on schoolwork. It doesn’t work out well in the end. Trust me. If you don’t take time for relaxation and rejuvenation, you will tire yourself out.

Research your passion. You will spend all of your time planning your research study. You will eat, sleep and breathe this research. If you plan to study something about which you are not passionate, you will become bored and frustrated. You may not know exactly what you plan to study when you enter the program, but you should have a good idea of what it may be. Once you complete your doctoral degree, your research focus may change slightly but, while you are in school, that research focus will be the only thing you think about for years on end. Search your heart, discover your passion and build your research around it.

Literature reviews are not book reports. I had to tell myself this many times in the last few weeks of the quarter. Synthesizing information gathered for a literature review is much different than writing a paper in which you describe every aspect of one or two research studies. In a lit review, there is no need to go into detail on every single aspect of a study. The point is to review the literature and find common denominators. What themes are weaved throughout the literature as a whole? What are major findings of the overall literature, not each study? In the beginning, it was a difficult concept for me. I kept thinking, “How am I supposed to cover all of the literature in 15 pages?” Well, the point of a lit review isn’t to necessarily cover everything, just those things you choose to highlight. Remembering that I wasn’t being asked to do a book report was a great help in learning to write literature reviews.

There is no cohort; it’s your program. During my BSN and MSN programs, I became used to the idea of completing the program as a group, but doctoral studies are different. Although you may take classes with the same people for a year or two, you are all on very different trajectories. This past quarter, I took classes with second-year and third-year doctoral students. Students take classes in the order that works best for their situations. Although a course outline is provided, you are not required to stick to it verbatim. Doctoral studies are a lot more fluid than the static studies I was used to in my BSN and MSN programs. Moreover, not everyone will complete the doctoral program in the same amount of time. I’ve met PhD-prepared nurses who completed the degree in 2 1/2 years and those who took 6 to 7 years. A doctoral degree is a very personal journey. In PhD programs, the group concept is typically absent.

Things are always clearer in the morning. Whenever I began to feel frustrated or if I was unable to clearly comprehend the reading or relay my thoughts when writing, I would stop what I was doing and take a nap or go to bed for the night (depending on the time of day). I found that when I awoke, I was clear-minded and ready to begin again. Even a short 45-minute nap seemed to reset my mind and remove any anxiety.

Becoming aware of the aforementioned tips early on in my program helped me successfully complete my first quarter as a doctoral student. I hope you find success with these tips as well.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Congrats, grad!

I attended three graduation ceremonies this past commencement season. Each celebrated a different aspect of graduation.

The first celebration I attended was a dinner hosted by the UCLA Pan-African Nursing Students and Alumni Association. I sat next to one of my future classmates in the PhD program, and we talked about our anxieties as we start this new journey. Well, actually, we talked about my anxiety; she’s not anxious about starting school.

After dinner, the ceremony began. The dean of UCLA School of Nursing addressed the graduates and attendees. He talked about the need for us to give back. He reminded us that no one is able to make it on their own, so it is only right to reach back and help one another. His address made me proud to be a UCLA Bruin!

The best part of the event, and the part that made my eyes tear up, was when each graduate was called and asked to light a candle. They were then given a stole to wear with their regalia during the official campus graduation ceremonies. Playing in the background was the song “Never would have made it,” by Marvin Sapp, dedicated to the families and friends of the graduates: "Never would have made it, never would have made it without you. I would have lost it all, but now I see how you were there for me."

As each of the graduates walked to and from the center of the dance floor, I visualized the day I will walk that path, light my candle and receive my stole. I know it may be a bit early to think about my own graduation, but I believe in always keeping an end-goal in mind. When I feel like giving up, when I think the program is too much for me to handle, I will undoubtedly think ahead to my graduation. I will think about the day I am addressed by my doctoral dissertation committee as Dr. Montgomery. I will think about my participation in the doctoral hooding ceremony. And I will surely smile when I think about my graduation party. It’s going to be the celebration of the decade, and yes, I have already started to plan for it.

A week after attending that dinner, I attended two graduation ceremonies for my little sister. She participated in the Black Graduation Ceremony Saturday evening and the college commencement Sunday morning. The Black Graduation is always fun to attend because it’s a more intimate setting and is geared specifically toward the African-American community. The evening began with a traditional African-American family dinner—fried chicken, catfish, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, steamed vegetables, peach cobbler and sweet tea. After eating, the guests were ushered into the auditorium where we watched a slide show of the graduates until the ceremony began. I was proud to watch my sister walk across the stage. I ran up to the stage to take a few pictures of her and walked back to my seat with a gigantic smile on my face.

My sister Brittany and me

The next day, we woke up bright and early to attend the college commencement. I was sitting in the audience with my mother, aunts, cousins and my sister’s friends. We used our phones to communicate with my sister to figure out when she would line up to walk across the stage. We also made pacts with the families sitting nearby, promising to scream for the other families’ graduates. As my sister prepared to walk across the stage, I stood as close to the stage as security would allow and took a few pictures. When her name was called, my family and I screamed and hollered. (My voice was hoarse for the next two days, but it was worth it.) It marked the culmination of my sister’s college experience. Following the ceremony, the entire family went to lunch to celebrate my sister and her awesome accomplishment.

These celebrations were the last college graduations I will attend before beginning the final leg of my own formal education. Attending the graduations reminded me of how inspiring graduations are. When you graduate with a new degree, your accomplishment is celebrated by many people, not just yourself. I look forward to making my family proud, again. I look forward to walking across the stage and being hooded, again. I look forward to dressing up in graduation regalia for the final time. I look forward to taking graduation pictures. I definitely look forward to my graduation party. I look forward to it all!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

What was I thinking?

I went to UCLA for a tour one day and, while I loved the campus and all the facilities I had the chance to see, I felt slightly out of place. I was surrounded by young people in their late teens and early 20s, walking around in what were once known as “daisy dukes.” Am I really ready to be back in this type of environment? I don’t look like the girls in the short shorts. Heck, I didn’t look that good when I was 20 pounds lighter. I am following my dream of earning a PhD and have been accepted to the school of my choice, but the closer I get to the first day of school, the more I am beginning to wonder, “What was I thinking?”

Before even submitting my application to the PhD program, I thought about how nice it would be to live on campus and get the entire “college experience” again. I thought back to my freshman year of college, and I remember it being a blast! Living on campus provides accessibility to campus activities and events that you just don’t get when you live off campus. I envisioned meeting other graduate students and forming lifelong relationships with them. I considered the ease of staying in the library until the wee hours of the morning, then simply walking across campus, unlocking my door and crashing for the rest of the night. I took it all into consideration—and I love the idea of being a fulltime PhD student—but when I went on that campus tour, I started to become slightly anxious.

• How will I fit in on campus?
• How will I relate to the undergraduate students I meet?
• Will people think it’s strange that I desire to join campus clubs?
• What will folks think about an almost-30-year-old living on campus?

Then my thoughts went from the external questions of my appearance and the other students’ perceptions of me to internal questions of my ability to succeed in a PhD program.

• Have I really been in nursing long enough to pursue a PhD in the field?
• Will I be the youngest person in the program? And if I am, will my classmates respect my thoughts and opinions?
• Am I smart enough to be successful in a PhD program?

These and plenty of other questions swarmed my mind until I told myself, “Enough is enough!” I will fit in just right on campus. My presence will bring life and professional experiences that differ from everyone else’s. My being there will help diversify the campus and complement all that every other student has to offer. I will relate to the undergraduate students just as I should—as a mentor and colleague.

Then I told myself that anyone with good sense would be honored to have me as a part of his or her club. I am a hard worker, and I have been a committee member of various organizations at the local, state and national levels. What will folks think about me living on campus? Honestly, who cares? If UCLA thought it was a bad idea for graduate students to live on campus, there would be no graduate student apartments (of which there are plenty). I will be surrounded by other graduate students, and I plan to have a ball getting to know them.

My questions about my intellectual abilities and professional experience were not even worth asking. I did submit an application, and I was offered admission, right? Why would I ever doubt my ability to succeed? Instead of asking, “What was I thinking?” in relation to going back to school, I should have been asking, “What was I thinking?” with regard to all of those negative questions.

As nursing leaders, we have to be courageous in taking hold of our dreams. We can’t allow fear of failure, criticism or the unknown to keep us from running full speed toward our goals, especially as it relates to those of us who are still fairly young in the profession. We must not fall into the trap of counting ourselves out, solely based on our age. Ambition, enthusiasm and a willingness to learn can oftentimes make up for what we lack in experience. And truthfully, experience has more to do with what you’ve experienced, than the amount of time it took you to get the experience.

So, no more questioning myself. No more doubting myself. No more wondering what others will think. I have the dream of a PhD in my sights and I’m going for it! I hope you are taking hold of your dreams as well.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

I'm going to Disneyland!

After working as a labor and delivery nurse for 2 1/2 years, I decided it was time to head back to school. It wasn’t a hard decision to make; after all, I’d spent the better part of 18 years in an academic environment, and the 2 1/2 years I spent working full time made me long to be back inside a classroom. So, I went to back to school, complaining about how long it was going to take to finish. There were many days of seemingly relentless stress and nights when I burned the candle the whole night through but, before I knew it, I was lining up to walk across the graduation stage. They called my name—“Master of Science in Nursing … Tiffany Monique Montgomery,” I shook the hand of the college president and walked off the stage. Now what?

Before the start of my last year of the MSN program, I began to throw around the idea of going back to school one last time for my PhD. The thought of obtaining a PhD was somewhat of a fairy tale but, once graduation was over, it became an idea that was very real. I began to think about my high school ROP* instructor, who told me that each level of my educational process would be a little easier than the level before.

When I was an anxious high school senior preparing for graduation and not knowing what life as a college student would hold, she told me my high school diploma was the most taxing diploma I would ever earn. At the time, I thought she was nuts, but now, as I looked back, I understood what she meant. Each time I graduated and decided to return to school, I was studying something I wanted to study—something I was interested in, something I got excited about, something that made me want more knowledge. She was right; each diploma was a little easier to obtain than the one before, not because the coursework required less effort, but because my hunger for knowledge was a little stronger. After reflecting on the words of my ROP instructor, I decided I would allow my education to take me as far as I could go. I was going to earn my PhD!

I began the application process the same day I attended the PhD program orientation at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). When I walked into the orientation, UCLA was one of two universities I was considering to pursue my PhD. By the time I left, I had decided it was the only program I would apply to and, if I did not get in on my first try, I would continue applying until the university accepted me. That evening, I created my profile on UCLA’s online application website. I completed as much of the form as I could and began piecing my statement of purpose together. Little did I know at that time, I would be logging on to the site multiple times each week, and my statement of purpose would be revised almost every other day.

I learned during the program orientation that, after applying to the PhD program, meeting with current professors to discuss potential research areas is a good place to start, so I scheduled meetings with two nursing professors. Before those meetings, I thought I wanted to study nursing education, but they inspired me to study an area of nursing that I loved and not simply list an interesting research question in my statement of purpose.

It didn’t take long to acknowledge the area of labor and delivery I loved most—working with teenage patients. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the fact they are pregnant, but caring for a pregnant teen brings out a sense of compassion and motherly protectiveness that I never felt when caring for adult women. I realized my desire, more than anything else, is to prevent teenage girls from having to face the harsh realities of motherhood. This is when my research focus changed from issues in the labor and delivery triage unit to teen-pregnancy prevention.

I wrote and rewrote, edited and revised my statement of purpose more times than I can count. Fifty revisions is probably on the conservative side. I changed the order of some paragraphs and completely deleted others. The part of writing the statement that I found most difficult was discussing my personal achievements. I understood that, because the PhD program does not include an interview as part of the application process, I had to “sell myself” on paper. But no one has a more difficult time than me when it comes to boasting of my accomplishments. While I enjoy keeping my friends and family abreast of my latest professional endeavors, I am not one to brag. I reviewed an early version of my statement of purpose with one nursing professor who told me I needed to do a better job of marketing myself. So, I went back to the drawing board and, as difficult as it was, I boasted of some of the wonderful successes I have experienced.

After working on my application for about two months, I finally pressed the Submit button. All of the transcripts had been mailed and letters of recommendation requested. Now, all I had to do was to wait … and wait … and wait. Waiting was, by far, the most challenging part of the entire application process. Once, during the waiting period, my mother asked me, “What are you going to do when you get in?” I remembered the old commercials from my childhood featuring Super Bowl champions, and I replied, “I’m going to Disneyland!”

Waiting to hear back from the school seemed to take forever, but that fateful day finally came. When I learned that I had been accepted to the program, I was overjoyed. I can’t quite put into words the way I felt. My dreams were coming true. Not long after word of my acceptance came, I was informed that I had also been awarded a fellowship. This was news I could not prepare for; for about a week, I felt like I was in a dream. Every time I told someone my good news, I smiled uncontrollably and wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I’m still in shock and in awe that I am entering a nursing PhD program in a few short months, and my tuition is already paid for.

When I was a high school senior, you couldn’t have paid me to believe I would someday be accepted into a PhD program. Me? No, not me! I’m the young woman from a broken home in Long Beach, California, who almost didn’t go to college because my mother couldn’t afford it. I wasn’t poised to become a nurse researcher then, but here I am, 11 years after my high school graduation, remembering the wise words of my high school ROP instructor and looking forward to all of the struggles and triumphs this PhD program will bring.

Disneyland, here I come!

*Regional Occupational Program (ROP) is a career-training program for high school students.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.